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Jul. 2nd, 2009

geek, nerd, sexy



my mom left a couple days ago for her trip to Austraillia and she left me with two hundred dollars tow calling cards and abiout a weeks worth of groceries.
I was a little worried at first being all alone in DC but that wore off. Tuesday afternoon I took a walk which lasted a good three or four hours and it started raining really hard and I wound up getting lost actually (good thing I had my map on me). SO today was our last day of class and I had to tell a story from my childhood in ASL which was alright I told the story of my grandma's wedding and how I embaressed the hell outta my mom by repeting everything the pastor said.
      I'm staying at this place called DC lofty
staying here has been a tad hectic its really crowed and I keep having to swich bunks; along with the fact that I have about six bags a purse a satchel a hygine, and medication bag, and my suitcase and I put all my dirty clothes in a trash sack which I have been shoving aside due to the fact that someone else's clothes are always in the wash. I was in the basement for two nights then they moved me to the second floor the night after; then I had to take my shit to the third floor and now I had to move back down to the second.
Its a rarity to find privacy here (unles your in the shower) which is hard to come by sometimes cuz so many folks stay here.
people are comming in the rooms at all hours of the night and such comming from allo sorts of places to stay here.
Hell the other night I met my new roomates (for the third time) and one lady was from new zeland.
      The bus is kinda ghetto espically the bus on 8th north east street. Me and mom rode it one day to get to down town on a bus called X2 but rightnow I take 90 or 92 to get to gallaudet today I made the mistake of riding home at four. I was the only while girl at a crowed stop and then I had to shove my way through a sea of pleople just to get on (none of those people were white either). Not that I'm racist or anything but when you feel like a dove in a flock or crows it is a tad bit awquard.
but yeah,....   
     I'm suprised I even got off at the right stop because I couldn't see out the windows the bus was so packed. oh and while I was waiting the funniest thing happened this black guy asked me for my number and tried to tell me he was studing at gallaudet except he had no idea wat the university was even for because he told me he studied physics there. So then when I told him it was a Deaf university he said he knew sign language and I started asking him questions in sign and he had no idea what I was talking about....GAWD WHAT AN IDOIT.
     I have rode the subway a few times tho its actually kinda fun. But I'm creeped out a bit because a few days after we got here there was a head on collision on the redline (thats one of the lines subway) they are actually still investigating the wreck and what caused it but they also changed the metro so that its running slower and now they have the driver manually stop the rail.
     I'm planing on seeing some more museums tommarow guess I'm kinda on my own but I did request a few peopole from my class on facebook...maybe I could ask them if they wanna join me or something who knows. I mjean /I've been over to courtney and amber's place twice already I'm sure they'll wanna hang at somepoint. Although since they are local I'm not quite sure about there intrest in sighseeing.
     The forth is on saturday and I'm debeting on what I wanna do it seems like our hostel would be having some type of celebration or whatknot I mena hell on wedsday night they had a fucking barbeque for no reason at all and alot of the younger folks here go club hopping it seems like there's bound to be something going on. If not I'm headed to the smithsonian to catch the fireworks I hear its mega crowded but hey thats something /i thibnk I'd regret missing so yeah.
        I called my mom just now (she left for her grant trip so she is in new zeland) and over there its like 130Am on friday which is relaly a trip cuz its like 11pm on thursday over here.
she says its really strange figuring things out. Her and the other lady she is travling with took a cab and she said he charged them eighty dollars but afterwards they found out they could have gotta a flat rate of fourty so he ripped them off. Then she says the money is diffrent and she was in the hotel room trying to figure out how to turn the lights on and they turn on when you insert your hotel key card into this slot in the wall. I was just like damn.
      Jason's birthday is on the 26th of july so I'm gonna be at my grandmother's place then and we are gonna cook him dinner I can hardly wait. I'm like Damn I'm a wimp I miss him already sooo much and its only been twol weeks. Plus he said he would drive me home on saturday when I get back bu on sunday we were just gonna kinda excuse ourselvs from Earlene's place and go get a motel room....
and we're gonna kinda cut loose plus motel room sex is always sooooooooo good espically when you don't gottaa worry abotu people who may just bust in at any minute and be horribly dimayed that your having sex in their house. (always a mood killer)
     Oh yeah and micheal jackson died a few days ago wow and he was only fifty years old thats a shame three generations of music the king of pop gone
Damn what a week 
     well Ima get going to bed now I'm gonna try and get up early even tho I'm not much of a morning person.
but I'll be sure and post more later

Jun. 29th, 2009

geek, nerd, sexy

So far......


sorry if I haven't bloged lately it seems like everything has been catching up to me work, school, planing for our trips
these days just seem so in your face with all kinds of things to take care of one bluring to the next.
So on
 tuesday three days before we were leaving I took off work to take care of erronds we went to the walmart clinic to get a TB test because apparently I needed one to attend at Gallaudet. 

        I was very happy when my suspicions about my weight were confirmed turns out of lost 20lbs I kept stepping on the scale at veronica's telling my mom I had lost weight but she just kept saying that scale is broken.
so I feel alot better I'm still not as skinny as I wanna be but at least I'm not fat anymore (thank god)
so anyways while we were at walmart I picked out some luggage for my trip I bought a back pack a satchel and a suitcase with gothic designs on them to match my new purse and it was only thiry bucks which wasn't bad really.
         me and mom got in the car and then her phone says she got a text message from veronica saying that we need to get out by the time we get back. Some nerve 
uh?? I mean we were leaving in three days and she donesn't even have the balls to tell us in person.
So I told my mom I wanna get another place at the Forum appartments because its cheap and she said yes but first we need to starighten out some stuff with her credit. When we moved out of the foutains in
 Stafford they tryed to charge us four thousand dollars in fees some of which aren't even leagal. Its been on her credit for awhile now but a lawer won't take our case because it isn't worth their time so mom isn't exactly sure how to dispute it. So we made a trip to my grandads where we had previously been staying before veronica's to ask them for a place to crash and the whole time I was just tence waiting for my mom to break them the 
        She kept pausing and rubbing her head on her forehead as if she had a migraine and letting out deep sighs and just when you thought she was about to say it she'd pause or change the subject and I just kept saying well,... and turning to her and then she'd rub her forehead again. So we were there for almnost twenty minutes talking about nothing and then my step grandma christina asks about how things are working out at our new place and my mom just says yeah I think we are gonna have to get a new place. We fianally just left and I waited till we got down the stairs before I asked her what the hell happened why did you pussy out?? And she just says oh we're gonna get 
a motel room or something.
       I couldn't get jason outta my head all week and I was just really starting to fal for him and saturday we went to the arcade and then decided to go to Barry's pizza which was right next door. At lunch we got to talking and he just said you have taught me alot about myself and so forth and then he's just like theres something I gotta tell you but I'm nevous about it. And it was just all going through my head like oh crap I've done something wrong and I said well what is it??? But he refused to tell me until we 
got in the car.
       I was just paranoid the whole conversation through lunch it kept weighing on my mind did I make him mad? do I have something in my teeth? is he breaking up with me? why won't he tell me until we leave is it really that bad???? Damn I must have royally fucked up this time I finally meet a decent guy and theres already a problem....We got in the car I must have settled down a bit cuz I had almost forgotten about what he said at the table but then I was like hey what about 
that thing you said while we were eating.
       So he went into a speach saying that I was proably gonna think he was weird but that he needed to tell me he loved me before I left for washington and I swaer I jsut felt like I might just flaot 
away at any second I was grining so big I don't think I've ever felt this way about anyone before. Not even xander it feels like someone just need tyo pinch me cuz I need to make sure I'm not dreaming.
       The whole week was just a blur we went to get my TB results friday and I tested positive so we had to go to my endrochronologist 

for a
 chest X ray it turned into some huge ordeal and the whole day I was running erronds with my work ubniform still on and I hadn't even showered or anything we had just left the house staright after work and by the time I got home it was like 5 o clock I just felt like I was gonna die. The X ray said I was negative I was pretty paranoid tho cuz I've had bad news from doctors in the past you can never be too careful n    owdays.
     saturday just rolled around and the livingroom looked like it'd been hit by a 
tornado bags everywhere.
that morning I gave veronica a piece of my mind and told her that we'd be staying in a motel room and that my mnoms credit
 is so bad even the goddamn getto where she lives won't lease to us right now. She looked like she felt bad I certainly hope she did I mean yeah if she needs her space thats fine. But she soulda gave us more notice I even told tameeka what she did friday morning after work and she said man thats fucked up and if I had more room at 
my place I'd let yall crash.
     that morning my mom was leavibng to take the test for her masters and veronica was babysitting and 
jason came by at 11
 and he was just like where is everybody and im like they aren't home and we just kinda looked at each other and then his face lights 
hes like wait so we're alone and their not gonna
be home for a couple hours and I said yeah,...andhe just grins and says well,....
I didn't exactly plan on doing this today but you only live once. So yeah we were fucking around til l my mom got home
 I was really worried 

that it would be awquard
 cuz the first time with my last couple boyfirends wasn't all that great but I had a lot of fun. Oh my gawd I'm not gonna get any till I get back tho Jason is driving my to my grandmothers out in conroe and the next day he says he will pick me up and we're gonna get a motel room.......Can't wait....ug
        The plane ride over to baltimore was betiful I'd actually wanna fly more often if I wern't afraid of crashing and drownding in the ocean 

and never being heard from again.
 We were just flying over the city throught the clouds then the sun started to set,...and I thought watching it from a hill top was incredible try flying through it. Then after it got dark you could see the lughts in the city it looked like a giant fiber opitics show spread across the gound for miles. We had to go on two planes actuially tghe second one was tiny I've never seen a plane so small in my life it only seated thirty five people and you could feel the propellors as it took off.
         we actually took a shuttle into washington Dc the next day we spent the night in a motel room I guess my mom figured since we were arriving at midnight there wouldn't be a shuttle comming in that late but it was crowded as all getout with all 
kinds of busses and shuttles and people waiting as if it were the middle of the day.
        Gaulledet's orientation was on suday and we managed to make it thirty mintues late they were in the middle of introductions they had a lady signing and her inturpreter off to the side expalining about the programs and where things were located. They expalined that we would be given a packet with a campus map along with some other stuff and our ID to present when riding the shuttle bus they also told us about screening and the ASL levels and 
        I stood next to this short haried girl and asked if she could speak any ASL at all and she said no and we were breifly talking back and forth so after I took my screening they told me I was in ASL 1 me and my mom were going out to lunch when I asked her her name and if she wanted to join us. She says her name is amber and she'd love to so we took a shuttle to this place called union  station basicly its a huge mall but it also has tours that run from it and the subway is downstairs we decided to eat at this greek place called agropolis I had a gyro salad it was really good but lunch for the three of us wound up costing thirty dollars. We all took a walk in a nearby park and 
discovered the capital and I took my picture in front of it.

      So amber and I are pretty good friends now and I've met all my classmates I was really suprised to learn they are all local in places like maryland fairfax and silver spring and ares in or around Dc theres only one other girl from far 
away she told me shes from illnois.
Most of them are taking the course for languge credits for universities they are attending in
 fact not only am I the only inturpreter major but I'm 
also the only student in my class who attends community college.
it was kindof insane really everyone is going to these major universities and paying out their ass for college so I just assumed theat everyone here would be really stuck up but its not like that at all.
         last thursday me amber her girlfriend courtney along with aour other classmate we call bunny all took the redline on the subway downtown and went to the hallocuast museum it was awesome plus courtney was really cool she reads manga and plays video games and they want to introduce me to more of their friends. They even took me to their hometown in maryland called greenbelt because it had some woods with a lake running throught the middle the veiw was awesome I kept staring at courtney she looks great amber is sooooooooooo lucky plus we started walking and she put 
her arm around me (thats as close as I will ever get but shes still really cool)
     So far I've seen the hallocaust the spy museum and the museum of natural history and the world war two and licon memorial 
I got some good phots of the national moument and the capital
(the sights here are pricelss and I've takken lots of photographs)

I still have a lot to see I think I wanna go to the museum of national history next anyways I better get going tho this post is wayyyyyyyyy long and I'm getting kinda tired 
till next time

Jun. 11th, 2009

geek, nerd, sexy

so um,...we're cool, right???

     I still have my job in fast food.
Summer overnights are just crazy tho.All kinds of shit happens on the shift, like wrecks or food fights in the drive thru. Everyones high so they wanna come in and make all these large complex orders and act like they don't know how to order or what to do do I go to the second window? um I dunno if you wanmt your food thats proably a good idea. Its funny by the way they order you would suspect they'd never eaten fast food in their life askin me dumb questions like
Whats a fudge sunday? Do you have the Mcrib? Are you serving breakfast? (gee its ten o clock at night what do you think?)
When I worked for the company full time it used to really get under my skin. I've mellowed out a bit since then. 
     What really suprises me is when I see someone I knew from 5-6 years ago and they still look the same and they know who I am right away. It really used to piss me off becuase some assholes from my junior high would come in and harass me order 50$ worth of food and leave or pull in and out of the drive thru.
     So yeah I still see people that I know from highschool and even elementary and middle school its pretty common some of them even used to work there. I keep seeing this guy micah whats funny is that he used to pick on me really bad. T
     hinking back on it Jr. High was when I had just started having troubles with bipolar It was really hard on me adjusting and my mom I kept having moodswings at school and wouldn't do my homework so the teachers basicly threatened my mom they would fail me if she didn't place me in a self contained behavoir class. We fianally agreed just so I could pass the 6th grade without being held behind. had 4 other students basicly it had a reputation for being the worst class in the entire school.
     Micah wasn't there at first, it was just me and a a few emo rebellious kids and we had a teacher by the name of Ms alsmeyer. (the same teacher who tutored me when I took my GED) When my friend told me that her brother Micah was getting moved to the class too I was kindof excited becuse there was no one in the class I really got along with. I guess being the class clown he came along and started making fun of me to make himself look cool. Since I was kindof geeky It was normally about my glasses making fun of me that I had big eyes or that I was alittle chubby they even had a nickname for me they called me bug eyed creation.
     I guess since I was the focal point eveybody simply joined along in a group effort. It was all kinds of things really drawing ugly pictures of me sicking jolly ranchers on my desk with spit globs stealing things out of my backpack like my cd's or reading my journal and leaving nasty comments. It was on going They would rat on me whenevr I did something wrong and delete all the music I listened to off the computer. Micah was kindof the ring leader of the pack.
     Although he was hurtful outside of him teasing me his jokes where really funny sometimes,...I even had a small crush on him when we first met cuz his sence of humor was so great. Its funny how he used to bother me so much, I used to skip class just so I could get away from him I thought he was horrible. Normally when he comes in hes been really polite though.
     He came in a few weeks ago and asked if I had seen any of our old classmates. Come to think of it I really haven't I saw our the mom of one of our formaer classmates and I his ex girlfriend actually moved to austin where I was attending college the last few semsters but no one recently. I told him our classmate sandra was on my facebook and he said he would send me a friend request there.
     I gave him some free food and asked how he was doing and he said good we chatted a bit. Then he came in again twice that week later we talked a bit and I wound up asking him for his number just for the hell of it . He's gotten alot better looking since middle school so I guess I wanted to see if he would actually give me his number as a conquest type of thing. In reality I just wadded it up in my pocket and forgot it was even there up until tonight. A customer pulled up and said hey how are you! and I was just like oh great its one of those overly friendly customers just what I need at this time of night. 
      Apparently it was just Micah passing through I told him I would promo his order and he said
oh no you don't have to do that. I was like alright and then he tells me hey you never called and I said oh, I lost your number sorry. (washe for real) cuz He said here lemme give you the number again. I was just like naw Ima loose it so you need to take my number I'll give it too you at the second window and then hes like maybe we could go to the movies sometime.
      I couldn't teel if he was asking me out or what but I thought it was hillarous I told tameeka (the nightshift manger who I'm friends with) how bad he used to bug me and one time he even tried tried to spit on me. (good thing he missed) I was just liek gawd he was a jerk and she said maybe you shoulda given him the rejection hotline I was liek yeah maybe.....
     Either way me I had a good laugh about it when I told my mom too 
she remebers how it used to be as well,...wounder what I'd say if he actually called???

Jun. 9th, 2009

geek, nerd, sexy

New Friends

I met this guy named R.J. a couple weeks ago....
He is actually a friend of an old guy pal of mine from highschool
who decided to introduce us. Seemed like a fat chance we'd ever get along
he really struck me as one of those cool rich kids but suprisingly we hit it off quite well.
Tonight was his 21rst birthday and I was actually invited. It was wayyy more fun than I expected.
It was at this really nice house they have out in new territory (a real nice neiborhood in Sugar Land in case you didn't know)
(yeah thats sugar land a very rich fast grwoing suburb where I grew up)
of course there was a shit ton of alchol (of all kinds) involved I normally don't like drinking but since everyone was already far past wasted when I showed up I had a few jello shots a shot or two of everclear some rum and a small shot of absenth and
there I was swaying along with everyone else so.....
Alot of hot guys were there theres this guy named ambrose
hes a close friendf of R.J.'s kept hitting on me the whole time
I said no I just got a new bf so I'm cool. 0=)  But it did make me blush a little ... ^_^
Yeah I had a real good time and I was even invited to another party some time in july but I told them I was gonna be in washinton DC....=]
I got back a little while ago and I was still tipsy for an hour or two im like Damn its just now wearin off
but its always nice making new firends tho

Jun. 5th, 2009

geek, nerd, sexy


I fianally have a new bf and hes really cool too. Remmeber that guy jason I went out with and  I worte a blog about it a couple weeks ago well me and him decided to make it official. He must really like me cuz he drives an hour to come see me once a week on saturday and spends 30-40$ on dinner. We normally go out to sugar land to eat at one of their fancy restrants then go walking in the park and play some video games.... He always shows up at 12 and doesn't wind up leaving until like 8 or 9 in the afternoon. We just have so much fun that we loose track of time...
    Last weekend he hooked uo my ps2 and we started playing chrono cross plus he left his nitendo wii and left me smash brothers plus the starwars game force unleashed for me to play... its a lot of fun dating a guy who is also into video games...Plus i'm so glad I found someone because its been like a couple months since I've gotten laid and thats wayyyyy to long come to think of it this whole year I haven't really gotten much I've had sex like five times....(yeah kinda scary now that I think about it)
     Can't wait till me and jason try it... there just one thing tho.... I was kindof shocked at first when he told me hes never had sex before.
I guess he isn't real great at putting the moves on girls cuz hes so shy and gets anxious I will have to kindof ease him into it or something Actually I'm kindof nervoius now that I think about it cuz Iv never dated a virgin before I mean yeah I've been with one or two but,...I just hope its good the first time we....you know?
O-well eatthier way I like him alot so
I think im fallin 4 him
sigh,can't wait till next saturday

May. 29th, 2009

geek, nerd, sexy

good things happen at bad times

So I just got out of school a couple weeks ago and I took my old job back working the graveyard...
So far it has been running smoothly (the job I mean)
I met this cool new chick named tameeka (shes my overnight manager.) I've already een to her house twice.
Up until today I wasn't quite sure what my grades were....
There was one thing I knew for certain. I knew I failed phsychology.
This morning I came home groggy as hell from work.
Mom took off today because there is so much to get done.
I'm trying to get back on foodstamps and medicade plus
we wanted to swich our phone plan, clean out the car and all that other time consuming crap........
she was telling me how the rest of my checks needed to go to my trip to

so I was like fine the next 600$$ goes to my trip.
I guess we were feeling short on cash when we decided to call my college about my outstanding bill considering that we did in fact owe two or three hundred dollars
and to check up on my grades....
I doesed off for a bit and then got a call from a debt collection agency...
Basicly I owe my old complex longhorn landing two grand in fees and so forth for breaking my lease with them to move to houston; and on top of that I needed to pay them now or else it was leaving a bad mark on my credit.
there was also some sortof hold on my grades.....something about my outstanding bill so,...yeah,
So far the day seemed pretty shitty.....
that was until we called about that  bill I owe the college only to realise there was nothing due back.
I guess we figured that all this time I didn't qualify for fianachial aide considering that we were given a card for my FAFSA with an account balence of zero maybe we just gave up to soon shows how much we know uh????
apparently I have 1,400 in aide that  came in without me or my mom knowing. all I'm thinking is gawddamn we must be stupid.
so yeah this was really convient espically when wer're flat broke
I guess all that was left after that is to make a payment on my tuition to remove the hold on my grades
we removed the hold from my grades only to discover that I passed both my classes
who knew someones bad day could turn around so fast......
well see ya
I'm off get a new phone and get my hair done

May. 8th, 2009

geek, nerd, sexy

Hot date


So I guess I figured its about time to start lookin for someone to go out with...
Jay had already started talking with this girl emily I guess he thought she was pretty cool cuz on
his myspace...At first I was kinda sad like awww for real? this sux.
But a few weeks ago I started talking with this guy jason.
     I met him off this dating website called sweet on geeks seemed to suit my persona well really I wanted a guy who was into gaming and anime like I was. So far I've just had really bad luck with guys and no luck with finding a girlfriend thats just kinda flow out the window at this point. So I wanted a guy who was youthful and I got someone imature, then I wanted a guy who was honest and I got someone blunt and everyone else I seemed to be intrested in didn't stick around long enough for it to even matter. O-well my date went pretty good we ate at gringos and I think me and this guy have somethings in common he was really polite and was actually wayyyyy better looking than the poictures he sent to me. I was really hoping to get a kiss at the door step but my mom had to go outside for a cigarette so it was kindof a mood killer. I'm really hoping he calls me to go out again. I'm just glad I actully found someone more like me. Who knows maybe if I play my cards right it will go a little further 

May. 3rd, 2009

geek, nerd, sexy

pppppppfttttttttt yeah whatever

my ex boyfriend is makin me a little confused....
I moved to
houston from austin
where we were both living but a big part of my decision
was the fact that he said he was going to move there too.
I figured he would I mean, I'm giving him credit because normally
he does what he says he is going to do. Thats one of the things I always liked about him.
But he made some bullshit excuse this time
he said he got in a fight with his dad before he was
going move in with him and that he wasn't comming up there
.....Fine I'm just trying to move on like any normal person would
Thought I was over him......guess not
I got to looking back and putting some thought into things
I think maybe I made some mistakes in that relationship and I was really trying so hard to fix them. 
But now he says he wants to breakup so,......
I quit callin and I quit messaging him on myspace
and then he gotta call me and argue or talk as though we are still togeather
and tell me he loves me and so on.
Sayin ok but you had better come visit me or I'm gonna break up with you and
this time I won't call back or some shit. And I'm just kindof like I thought we were already broken up.
So what am I supposed to do???? I just want to clear this from my head its like a could huvring over
me clouding my judgement, distracting me from school, makin me upset, pullinme from talkin to my friedns cuz if I do I'll just wind up complaining about him the whole time instead of talking about what they wanna talk about.
He called and said he wants me to move in with him now and he can support me WTF???
seriously,....is he for real?
I just moved up here now I gotta move to san marcos where hes at....just to be with him
yeah right how is that in any way a good idea right now?
I mean I might not mind so much cuz I am always fucking moving so
its inevitable
I try not to ge used to any place I'm stayin nowdays
chances are I won't be there for longer than a year.
Its just that I don't know anyone in
san marcos
at all.
well scratch that wait I know both my ex boyfriends and that it so yeah,....some good that will do me
I hate bein lonely it makes me all emo and depressed
I already don't really know anyone here in houston really just 6-7 people
(2-3 that I'm really close with) but at least I know someone It not like
I freash moved to the city and don't know a soul.
as for the whole thing with him......
I miss him so much right now
I want Jay back but I don't really know if I am willing to put forth an effort to even try.
I'm trying hard to understand him and for the most part I do,.... I don't blame him for the things he is doing but it doesn't change the fact that its breakin my heart.
I'm in school here now still working on my major and I'm getting to the point where I would just like to stay in one place for a while and accomplish something ya know? Graduate and save up some money
Jay wants me to come visit for a week  and I've just tried to explain to him that
fianals are comming up and I need this time to study. Am I just supposed to drop everything for him? We aren't even really togeather. I mean yeah I love him but I'm not going to neglet myself I already made that mistake with my last realtionship I'm NEVER doing that again.
I guess I just shouldn't worry about it really. Its out of my hands and even if we do split for good I'll evetually get over it. I'm more concerned with getting into shape and going to washton than I am bending over backwards to please someone I'm not even with.
Sorry for such a long entry I guess its better that I write about it here and get this off my chest.


Apr. 30th, 2009

geek, nerd, sexy


I have this report due in neropsychology saturday morning. I guess I've just now started it I've done 3 hours of reasherch last night and three hours today and I'm going to finish it up tommarow basicly.(Mostly my out fault for procrstonating as always)
So far I've Drawn up an outline of what I want to talk about brain damage drugs and mental illness I know its pretty complex but the teacher wants us to talk for 7-10 minutes so that should about cover it if I spend three minutes on each topic. I'm really hoping for an A because I failed my last test. The only real problem that I'm gonna hace is that I just reaplied at my old job and they expect me to wrok from 
10pm friday till 6am saturday and I have class at 9. I'm really hoping nothing bad happens. Its just like the guy that hired me recognised that I used to work the graveyard shift and wanted me to do it again except they picked the worst possible time for me to work. I'm really not looking forward to working friday at all because weekend overnights are shitty. but what the hell was I supposed to say no? I really need this job if I wanna save money for my trip to Dc. Basicly the weekned nightshif is just a horrible time to work because its when all the drunk and high customers come in and harass the hell out of you for no reason. I'm already okay with someone stoping in to get a bite to eat (thats fine) but when someone comes in just to bother me for my phone number or blow an airhorn in my face its really not cool. mostly for your normal joe smuck
or whatever he'd just be really tired or drained  after all the heavy lifting and shiftwork but sometimes people forget that I have bipolar disorder.
I guess its cool sometimes because it makes me feel energetic but
Its like I really don't want to be scrambled while I'm giving my report (cuz  I work the night before) the best I can really do is take good notes so I don't sway off topic and such because sometimes when I don't get enough sleep I say things that I shouldn't.
I don't even try to explain it to normal people anymore really at least not now I don't all I can say is bp is extravangly exahausting my mood is always shifting on edge and having heavy anxiety or depression and i never get a chance to just relax.
I know that seems a little over the top even to me it seems that way sometimes.
all I can really say its that I'm slow to warm up And figureing shit out has never been my stong suit.... I guess thats why I normally put in extra time for studying....
because I zone out or get confused....  I'm not the type who catches on quickly 0_o.
I will sit down to study open my book and then I stare into space (witrhout even relaising it) and before you know it 30 minutes have passed by. I also forget things, espicallywhen im tense the more stressed or distracted I am the worse it gets when it gets real bad I forget something important like my wallet or my keys.when I feel worked up I get insomnia my body will feel tired even sore but my brain is still wide awake and im nervous and fidgeting....
I normally stay up kinda late whenther its just for fun or the fact that I can't sleep. Well the other day
my roomate just asks if I been up all night and I tell her yes and she comparies me to a person on cocaine. (Its like gee thanks)
It made my blood boil sometimes people really piss me off but mostly I just don't say anything about it cuz its just not worth the trouble. Anyways back to my original subject
 I've been getting really distracted lately Its to the point where I can't even study at home anymore.I have to go to the coffee shop and turn off my phone..... I don't know what it is about people and there attempts to contact you at the wrong period in time but it seems to be happening a lot lately.
I get online and 4 or 5 people send me an im on yahoo messanger and I wind up getting 2 or 3 phone calls...
wtf!? its like where was everybody when I was lonely and down in the dumps pretty much too busy for me well whatever......
Fianals are comming up so I've been having to study more and more I know I'm pretty much set for math because
I have a tutor thats helping me a couple time a week with homework. I really don't know about passing psychology at this point I mostly sure I can do it if I make good grades on the next few tests.
Its shouldn't be too hard  just need to buckle down and set aside a few hours each week to study I guess I should try and work it arouns my work schedule
It should be more of a daily thing. I know I can make a good grade on this project tho plus I've done ten points worth of extra credit and I have five more to go so that will help to raise my grade.I just can't wait to scholl is out really I have been waiting a whole year to study in washington even now its hard to believe I'm actually getting to go.  yeah,....I really want to get out of here this neiborhood tho it really isn't safe at all and we are pretty much the only white people here with money and it shows. This neiborhood isn't the best place to live people watch you constantly and then figure out your schedule what time you are hone alone and whatknot its just creepy it makes me really uncomfortable to know that our neibors are that nosey....And Veronica is kinda an asshole really,.... its like I really can't judge her or blame her in any way its just that she makes us uncomfortable sometimes evevn though she doesn't mean too. The other day she brought over this guy she had just met and he was feelin all over her and they were talkin in spanish and I just said hey mom maybe we should go to the cofee shop. I know I should have brought it up in private but it really was kindof awquard cuz me and my mom were tryin to study. Hopefully we will be out of here within the next five months thats really my goal. Anyways its about time I wrap this up becaue I'm hella tired from studying


Apr. 29th, 2009

geek, nerd, sexy

I can harly wait

this summer is gonna be so crazy,..I'm nearly jumping out of my skin with excitement
firstly I am going to washington Dc for six whole weeks to study at gallaudet university.
I guess for anyone reading who doesn't know what I am talking about
basicly gaulledet is a really good well known school for the Deaf in DC.
Basicly since I'm majoring in intupreting for the Deaf it'll really help me and aside from that
its a really great thing to put on a resume.
My professor who was Deaf went to school there. She explained to us in sign language about washtion and she was very discriptive in the signs she used about how the leaves turned purple orange and brown in the fall and about how nice the weather was up there. Which is really also a big plus because texas is really smoggy
state with a weak ozone. We don't have much going for us besides the medical center in houston and NASA thats really about it. Anyways back to the whole thing about washtion yeah Its in two months and I've already started planning whst I wanna do. I'm going to be there for forth of july so I need to see what will be going on around there.I bought some books from barnes & noble  was an insiders guide to dc
so I picked out a few tours that I want to go on and I  can already think of a couple places I want to vivst off hand.I espically want to see the spy and the hollacuast museum And I even I read that the jazz festival will be going on in july while I'm there. Plus I have the top 25 spots in washing ton so I can't wait to hit up one of their nighclubs. Thats not the only thing thats going on this summer tho
my mom got a 10,000$ to go to austrialia and check out some of there educational stuff.
Shes been working on this for months and I guess we weren't really thinking about it until she got a call
from her co worker saying "were going to austraillia" it was just a shock really your not thinking about it at all and then all the sudden you have these huges plans.
So yeah she is going to fly to new zeland and then austrailia around the same time I will be in washington
she has even strted her own blog called all things tazmainian. We were discussing going to cali afterwards and trying to stay with my aunt in san diego for a week.I'm a tad nervous about flying by myself but I know that I'm just gonna be soooo excited chances are it won't even matter.

it just all seems so odd we have never had money for this type of stuff in the past so I guess living in a shitty neiborhood butI can't complain I mean look at how much it has really paid off.I only have 8 weeks beifre we go I wish I had more time because I am trying to get into better shape my goal is to loose 15-20lbs in that peroid of time so we went to walmart and bought some ankle weights and dumbells to lift along with a cooler pack so I could run on the tredmill we are also planing on getting bikes and riding them every day..
I guess it will make loosing the weight a hell of alot easier than going it with diet alone which pretty much starts to seem pointless after a while espically when you are always hungry.

Eather way its really great to have something to look forward too me and jay just broke up after a year of going out and the place we are living now is not that great but its just really hard to find anything to frown about when I'm getting to do what I want for a change.

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