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nerd, geek, sexy


I have this report due in neropsychology saturday morning. I guess I've just now started it I've done 3 hours of reasherch last night and three hours today and I'm going to finish it up tommarow basicly.(Mostly my out fault for procrstonating as always)
So far I've Drawn up an outline of what I want to talk about brain damage drugs and mental illness I know its pretty complex but the teacher wants us to talk for 7-10 minutes so that should about cover it if I spend three minutes on each topic. I'm really hoping for an A because I failed my last test. The only real problem that I'm gonna hace is that I just reaplied at my old job and they expect me to wrok from 
10pm friday till 6am saturday and I have class at 9. I'm really hoping nothing bad happens. Its just like the guy that hired me recognised that I used to work the graveyard shift and wanted me to do it again except they picked the worst possible time for me to work. I'm really not looking forward to working friday at all because weekend overnights are shitty. but what the hell was I supposed to say no? I really need this job if I wanna save money for my trip to Dc. Basicly the weekned nightshif is just a horrible time to work because its when all the drunk and high customers come in and harass the hell out of you for no reason. I'm already okay with someone stoping in to get a bite to eat (thats fine) but when someone comes in just to bother me for my phone number or blow an airhorn in my face its really not cool. mostly for your normal joe smuck
or whatever he'd just be really tired or drained  after all the heavy lifting and shiftwork but sometimes people forget that I have bipolar disorder.
I guess its cool sometimes because it makes me feel energetic but
Its like I really don't want to be scrambled while I'm giving my report (cuz  I work the night before) the best I can really do is take good notes so I don't sway off topic and such because sometimes when I don't get enough sleep I say things that I shouldn't.
I don't even try to explain it to normal people anymore really at least not now I don't all I can say is bp is extravangly exahausting my mood is always shifting on edge and having heavy anxiety or depression and i never get a chance to just relax.
I know that seems a little over the top even to me it seems that way sometimes.
all I can really say its that I'm slow to warm up And figureing shit out has never been my stong suit.... I guess thats why I normally put in extra time for studying....
because I zone out or get confused....  I'm not the type who catches on quickly 0_o.
I will sit down to study open my book and then I stare into space (witrhout even relaising it) and before you know it 30 minutes have passed by. I also forget things, espicallywhen im tense the more stressed or distracted I am the worse it gets when it gets real bad I forget something important like my wallet or my keys.when I feel worked up I get insomnia my body will feel tired even sore but my brain is still wide awake and im nervous and fidgeting....
I normally stay up kinda late whenther its just for fun or the fact that I can't sleep. Well the other day
my roomate just asks if I been up all night and I tell her yes and she comparies me to a person on cocaine. (Its like gee thanks)
It made my blood boil sometimes people really piss me off but mostly I just don't say anything about it cuz its just not worth the trouble. Anyways back to my original subject
 I've been getting really distracted lately Its to the point where I can't even study at home anymore.I have to go to the coffee shop and turn off my phone..... I don't know what it is about people and there attempts to contact you at the wrong period in time but it seems to be happening a lot lately.
I get online and 4 or 5 people send me an im on yahoo messanger and I wind up getting 2 or 3 phone calls...
wtf!? its like where was everybody when I was lonely and down in the dumps pretty much too busy for me well whatever......
Fianals are comming up so I've been having to study more and more I know I'm pretty much set for math because
I have a tutor thats helping me a couple time a week with homework. I really don't know about passing psychology at this point I mostly sure I can do it if I make good grades on the next few tests.
Its shouldn't be too hard  just need to buckle down and set aside a few hours each week to study I guess I should try and work it arouns my work schedule
It should be more of a daily thing. I know I can make a good grade on this project tho plus I've done ten points worth of extra credit and I have five more to go so that will help to raise my grade.I just can't wait to scholl is out really I have been waiting a whole year to study in washington even now its hard to believe I'm actually getting to go.  yeah,....I really want to get out of here this neiborhood tho it really isn't safe at all and we are pretty much the only white people here with money and it shows. This neiborhood isn't the best place to live people watch you constantly and then figure out your schedule what time you are hone alone and whatknot its just creepy it makes me really uncomfortable to know that our neibors are that nosey....And Veronica is kinda an asshole really,.... its like I really can't judge her or blame her in any way its just that she makes us uncomfortable sometimes evevn though she doesn't mean too. The other day she brought over this guy she had just met and he was feelin all over her and they were talkin in spanish and I just said hey mom maybe we should go to the cofee shop. I know I should have brought it up in private but it really was kindof awquard cuz me and my mom were tryin to study. Hopefully we will be out of here within the next five months thats really my goal. Anyways its about time I wrap this up becaue I'm hella tired from studying